What Makes Me Beautiful
By Emily Heiser
At 24
years old, I’ve been exposed to many different ideas of what beauty is, what it
means, and why it’s important. In my
quest for beauty, I’ve tried lots of diets, every type of fashion, and have been
every shade of blonde and brunette a person can be. I continue to be dissatisfied with my hips, my
thighs are slightly thicker than I’d like them to be, and no matter how many
sit-ups I do my stomach still has a little “pouch” that just won’t disappear. However, I had one part of me that I loved;
my eyes. I always received compliments
on them and they were always the one thing I felt comfortable “flaunting.” In 2008, I was in a car accident that could
have left me blind. Instead, it left me
with a scar on my right eye and eyelid. The scars are the first thing I see in
the morning and the last thing I look at before I go to bed at night. I’ve struggled the past several years knowing
that the one part of me that I believed was perfect is damaged, forever. I try to be an advocate for positive body
image and yet, I have never quite reconciled my own positive body image with
what I see in the mirror. During my most recent confrontation with what I saw
in the mirror, it occurred to me that I spend a considerable amount of time focusing
on all the parts of me that are ugly but very little on what is beautiful about
me. So, I got to thinking. What makes me beautiful?
It’s
funny what animals can teach you about yourself. These horses have shown me that it is not
about what I don’t have but what I do have; my so-called “imperfections” are
actually what make me beautiful. My hips
that I think are too big are just the right size for carrying a saddle. Even though my thighs are thick, they are perfect
for jumping horses over fences. My nails
aren’t always freshly manicured, but are on hands perfect for feeding a fresh
apple to a horse after a long ride.
My journey is to self-acceptance is just beginning; I have a long way to go and it won’t always be easy. But, I am finally realizing my so-called flaws are what make me who I am; my flaws are my story, my unique and beautiful story.
Just sayin'.
Laurie