A Guest Blogger

Our daughter Emily is living with us this summer, before she begins graduate school in September.   Gary, Emily and I have had many conversations the past few weeks about diversity, inclusiveness and tolerance.  Gary and I are involved in diversity initiatives at our workplaces, and notwithstanding Chick-Fil-A, there is a lot of talk about same-sex marriage in Minnesota these days.  On the November ballot, Minnesotans will vote on a state constitutional amendment to ban marriage for same-sex couples.   Passage of  this amendment would benefit no family, create no job, defend no institution, nor welcome any person to Minnesota.  But it would hurt, disadvantage, and stigmatize tens of thousands of Minnesotans - loving, committed same-sex couples -  and their families.  Gary and I are opposed to this amendment and we have a sign and a rainbow flag in our yard indicating our opposition.  We are firmly committed to diversity and inclusiveness.  We are hopeful that the sign and flag will stir conversation among our neighbors, like it has around our dinner table.

I was admittedly disappointed that my Facebook post about our yard sign generated only  5 "likes" and no comments, yet Facebook and Twitter are blowing up over Chick-Fil-A.  I came home from work yesterday, and Emily presented me with the article below.  We always tease her that she's like a Snapple cap -- full of facts and information -  so I wasn't really surprised that she took it upon herself to do some research about homosexuality and the Bible.   Obviously she's ready to get back to school!

Just sayin'.

Laurie

  

Homosexuality and the Bible

By Emily Heiser

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last several weeks, chances are you’ve heard about the CEO of Chick-fil-A, Dan Cathy, declaring in an interview that he has made significant donations to traditional pro-marriage organizations.  In the wake of yesterday’s “Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day,” I decided to do some research on what the Bible says about homosexuality.  Like many, I have strong opinions on same-sex relationships and gay marriage. But, as one of my Loyola University philosophy professors once said, “Opinions are merely assertions one makes. They hold no weight unless supported by scholarly evidence.”  So, I went to work researching homosexuality and the Bible.  

The Bible as we know it today has gone through hundreds of changes since its original manuscript (The Torah or Old Testament) was written, which scholars estimate was around 450 B.C.  The Bible’s original manuscripts were written in ancient Greek, Hebrew, and Aramaic.  The gospels of the New Testament were all written between 60-95 C.E.  It is generally accepted that Jesus died around 30 C.E., meaning that the very first manuscript of the New Testament, the Gospel of Matthew, was written nearly 30 years after the death of Christ. 

The word homosexual and the concept of homosexuality is a product of the modern-era, emerging in the 19th century when the study of human sexuality as a science began. There is no word or term for homosexual or homosexuality in ancient Greek, Hebrew, or Aramaic, the languages of the Bible’s original manuscripts.   Perhaps the most cited biblical verse in regards to the denunciation of homosexuality is Leviticus 18:22:  “Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable.”  A word for word translation analysis of this passage by an Old Testament scholar at the University of Amsterdam showed that this passage does not prohibit all same-sex behavior.  Rather, it was meant to control where male-male intercourse was allowed.  It could not be performed in a woman’s bed, because that location was sacred.  Sexual activity between heterosexual couples would also be ritually unclean if performed in a woman’s bed.  Literally translated, this Leviticus passage would have read something like  “Two men must not engage in sexual activity on a woman’s bed; it is ritually unclean.”   There were other rituals that were also consider unclean, such as  getting too close to a dead body, eating shellfish, or combining meat and dairy.  None of these were considered sinful or condemned, however.   There are some Bible verses correctly translated from Hebrew that do condemn same-sex sexual behavior; however, it is behavior within contexts related to violence, idolatry, promiscuity, and exploitation that is condemned, not the same-sex sexual relationship.  The same condemnation is given to opposite sex sexual behavior that is violent, idolatrous, promiscuous or exploitative.

Dan Cathy stated, “We’re inviting God’s judgment on our nation when we shake our fist at Him and say we know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage.” How we consider and define marriage in the 21^st century is nowhere close to how marriage was defined, or practiced 2000 years ago.   In biblical times, if a woman was raped, she became married to her rapist.  If a woman was sold, she became married to her buyer.  If a slave’s master gave a female slave to a male slave for procreation, the enslaved “couple” were considered married.  A couple who lived together was also considered married.  Polygamy was widely practiced and accepted. In some cases, a man of wealth and means was allowed up to 18 wives.  Not so “traditional,” huh?

In my research I found no scholarly evidence denouncing consensual, loving homosexual relationships in the Bible.  In fact, there may be as many as three references in the Bible to committed homosexual relationships.  The story of Ruth and Naomi is one such relationship.  Ruth 1:14, referring to the relationship between Ruth and Naomi, reads, “Ruth clave onto her.”  The Hebrew word “clave” is identical to the word used in the description of a heterosexual marriage in Genesis 2:24: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh.” 

The most famous reference in the Bible of homosexual love is the relationship between David and Jonathan.  Yes, King David of Israel, from whom Jesus is believed to be a direct descendent.  I’ll wait while you pick your jaw up off the floor….ok, ready? The bond between David and Jonathan is documented in the book of Samuel.  1 Samuel 18:1 reads, “The soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.  From that day, Saul [Jonathan’s father] kept David with him and did not let him return to his father’s house.”  This verse makes reference Genesis 2:24, in that David did not return to his parent’s home.  Further, a physical relation between David and Jonathan is apparent 1 Samuel 20:41, “David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan…then they kissed each other and wept together, but David cried the most.”  In 2 Samuel, during their last moments together David tells Jonathan, “I grieve for you; you were very dear to me.  Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of a woman.”  In ancient Israel men and women were not allowed to be seen in public together, nor were they allowed platonic relationships.  It would not make sense in this verse to compare platonic love for a man with sexual love for a woman. Therefore, in its original form, David is referring to his sexual love for Jonathan.

What is happening today is not about chicken.  The real issue is that we have lost sight of what is important: love. “A new commandment I give unto you, that ye love one another as I have loved you. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples if ye have love one to another.”  John 13:34-35.   In my heart of hearts and as an advocate for equality, I believe that the Jesus I love and desire to emulate would never turn his back on any person for any reason.  Jesus made a habit of being in the company of social pariahs; he himself was considered one by many.

My limited research and this short blog article are not meant to be the final word on the subject of the bible and same-sex relationships.  Rather, I wanted to point out that the bible is full of ambiguities, and in truth, unless one knows ancient Greek, Hebrew, or Aramaic it is impossible to accurately translate the original manuscripts of the bible.

@#%! Cancer

 My dear friend of 25 years was recently diagnosed with breast cancer.    Her prognosis is good and she feels she has an excellent medical team.  But she's only 50 years old, has been married for just 11 years, and has a beautiful 6 year old daughter.   She and I have shared so much during our friendship; it is difficult for me, as a friend, to be so far away from her during this time.  As I've been thinking about this very special frend of mine and this health challenge she's facing, it's occurred to me that over the past several years, cancer has touched the lives of too many people I know. 

About 7 years ago, a former co-worker who became a great friend was given a severe cancer diagnosis and not a very good percentage that he would beat it. He fought a very couragous battle that included months in the hospital, more than a year of isolation, and a relapse.  He's cancer free today, but he sacrificed many years of his life, as well as part of his career.

 Five years ago pancreatic cancer took my favorite, loving aunt.  There's no real treatment for pancreatic cancer; by the time one receives a diagnosis it's basically too late for any treatment to stop the cancer or prolong life.  I remember the pain of saying good bye to her.  We both knew it would be the last time we saw one another.

My faithful, compassionate father-in-law lived with lung cancer for several years before he succummbed to this awful disease late in 2011.  He never feared the disease, just prayed for God's hand to help the doctors who cared for him; and when the doctors could do no more, Dad  prayed for God's will.    

A neighbor received her breast cancer diagnosis last year. "Death to Cancer" has been her battle cry, and today she is cancer free, to the amazement of her doctors and the joy of her family.   I saw her last weekend and she is thankful for the re-growth of her eyebrows and eye lashes. 

Finally, I learned that a high school friend with whom I reconnected through Facebook has colon cancer.   He was a football star, and all around popular student.  He's about to undergo his sixth and final chemo treatment.

According to the American Cancer Society, half of all men and one third of all women in the US will develop cancer during their lifetimes.  Today, millions of people are living with cancer or have had cancer.  This weekend, the high school in my neighborhood will host a Relay for Life.  Relay for Life is an event that helps communities celebrate the lives of people who have battled cancer, allows families and friends to remember loves ones lost to this awful disease, and raises money to fight back against cancer.  I've never participated in a Relay for Life event, but this weekend I will go to the high school with a decorated luminaria bag for my dear, special friend facing breast cancer; for my former co-worker and great friend who beat a severe cancer diagnoses; for my favorite, loving aunt who I remember and miss every day; for my compassionate father-in-law who I see in my husband; for my neighbor who rejoices in little things like eyebrows and eye lashes; and for a high school classmate whose last status update was "one more to go."

@#%! Cancer.

Beignets, Beads, and Fried Green Tomatoes

Mardi Gras 2012 was my 25th celebration of the greatest free show on earth! What a fantastic celebration it was!

Gary and I kicked off Mardi Gras as we do all of our New Orleans visits, by heading to Morning Call Coffee Stand for beignets and cafe au lait. Morning Call has been serving these New Orleans classics since 1870. Originally located on Decatur Street in the French Quarter, in 1974 Morning Call moved to its present location in the suburb of Metairie, in a section once commonly referred to as Fat City, drawing an eclectic and colorful clientele. Morning Call brews the rich chicory coffee using the “french drip method” which allows the coffee to build intensity and body. Whole milk is heated to a near boil then mixed with the coffee to form the quintessential café au lait. Beignet dough is hand rolled and fried in hot oil. When cooked, beignets are light and airy. Liberally dusted with powdered sugar they are an irresistible New Orleans tradition. Morning Call is extra special to me because it's where Gary gave me my engagement ring. We decided to get married while having dinner at Dickie Brennan's Bourbon House in the Quarter (we're don't really remember who proposed to who) but he gave me the ring at Morning Call.

From Friday night - Fat Tuesday (Mardi Gras day) 16 parades rolled through the streets of New Orleans, and we had a front row seat for every one, as the New Orleans Uptown parade route rolls directly by Emily's apartment building on St. Charles Avenue in the Garden Disrict. Where one will be watching the parades is a topic of discussion among New Orleanians during Carnival. It's all about location, location, location, and as far as parade-watching real estate goes, Emily's address is primo. Parade goers are very protective of their "spot." People set up their chairs, tents, grills, coolers, and ladders (to see over the crowd) hours, even days, in advance of the parade. It is a brave soul - or a novice - who tries to work her way in front of somebody who has a good "spot.

Mardi Gras is called the greatest "free" show on earth because the City of New Orleans doesn't pay for Mardi Gras. Each parade is put on by a krewe (pronounced crew); members of the krewe pay dues to ride in the krewe's parade. Their dues pay for the elaborate floats and the celebrity grand marshalls who ride in the super-krewes. Each rider is responsible for purchasing his/her own beads, plastic cups, stuffed animals and trinkets tossed from the float to the throngs of parade goers yelling "Throw me something, Mister (or Lady!)" These are everyday, regular, middle class people who spend several thousand dollars of their own money because they love Mardi Gras. The City does pay for the police who fantastically manage the 1,000,000 revelers who are on the streets, and for the sanitation workers who do an amazing job cleaning up each night after the parades. But other than that, Mardi Gras is by the people for the people. (I heard the City of New Orleans realized something like 324 million in tourism dollars from this year's Mardi Gras.)

Years ago the krewes were very segreated, by sex and race. There are still a few ladies-only krewes, but fortunately, race is no longer a consideration for krewe membersip. About 20 years ago, a New Oleans city councilwoman challenged the old line krewes which were very WASPy. She believed business deals were being conducted at the private club luncheons and meetings of the krewes, and minorities, who were excludied from krewe membership, were consequently excluded from business opportunities. Further, she insisted if the city was going to provide police and sanitation services for their parades, the krewes must integrate. The rest of the City Council and the courts agreed with her on the krewe-parade membership requirements, although there was nothing they could legally do about discussions of business deals that might have been taking place at legal private clubs. Today, race is not a consideration for krewe membership. Again, Mardi Gras is by ALL the people, for ALL the people, just as it should be.

It's difficult to explain to someone the pure fun of a Mardi Gras parade. "So I'm going to stand on the streets with thousands of people and yell at riders on a float to throw plastic beads at me?" I distinctly remember my skepticism before my first parade all those years ago. I remember Gary having his doubts, and this year was the first Mardi Gras for our (adopted) nephew David who too had to see it to believe it. Over the years I've experienced Mardi Gras with many first timers. Friends. Co-workers. My mom. My aunt and uncle. In every single instance, each first timer has been hooked after just one float. It's almost surreal at a parade. You cheer for the marching bands and dance along with the local high school dance troups. You become best friends with the stranger standing next to you. Problems and life's challenges are put on hold. The only thing that matters is catching that throw (beads, etc., are referred to as "throws").

Speaking of throws. The longer and bigger the beads, the better. All of the krewes also throw plastic go-cups emblazoned with the krewe's logo. Riders used to throw a lot of doubloons, a metal coin about the size of a half dollar coin. I learned very quickly never to reach down to pick up a doubloon off the ground; instead, I step on a doubloon to claim it, then reach down to pick it up. For some reason, krewes don't throw many doubloons anymore so catching one today is a challenge. The bigger krewes have beads with medallions which are always a favorite throw. Perhaps the most coveted throw in all of Mardi Gras is a Zulu coconut. Zulu is the first parade on Mardi Gras day. Years ago they had to stop throwing their decorated coconuts from their floats because of injuries; today, they pass the coconuts to the reveler of their choice. In 24 years I had never caught a coconut. This year I caught four!! I had to climb the police barricade and beg like a child, but it worked!

We saw celebrity grand marshalls in several parades. Maroon 5 led the Krewe of Endymion. I was looking for Adam Levine and thought I missed him. I heard later he thought it was too windy and wouldn't ride on the float and rode in a limo. Puh...lease. I'll definitely be rooting for Team Blake on The Voice. Will Ferrell was King of Bacchus and threw cow bells (if you've seen the Saturday Night Live skit you get this). Brett Michaels, Harry Connick, Jr, Hilary Swank, Mariska Hargitay, and Cyndi Lauper were the celebrity riders of Orpheus. My favorite band of all was the Tulane University Marching Band, which marched in 3 parades Mardi Gras weekend. Our son Kyle plays on the drum line, and he moved like Jagger everytime we saw him pass by!

Everthing I've described about Mardi Gras is the Mardi Gras that takes place outside of the French Quarter. The "girls (and guys) gone wild that so many have a picture of in their mind's eye about Mardi Gras is not the Mardi Gras I enjoy year after year. I've been to the Quarter during Mardi Gras, and I've had fun, but the parades are my favorite, and they don't roll through the Quarter. We did roam the Quarter one afternoon and heard great music streaming from several bars, saw a lot of street musicians, several marching groups parding through the streets, and lots of people on balconies throwing beads. In fact, I saw one of my oldest lawyer friends up there on a balcony. He threw me beads with his law firm's name on the medallion. When I was the marketing director at that law firm I would send 400+ Mardi Gras king cake packages to firm clients. Now the firm has personalized beads. Not sure what to think about that!

I already mentioned beignets and cafe au lait. Here's what else we ate (and drank!): Bar-b-q shrimp. Muffaletta. Gumbo. Shrimp po-boy. Boiled crawfish and boiled shrimp. Spinach and artichoke dip. Charboiled oysters. Crablegs. Jambalaya. Southern fried chicken. Red beans and rice. King cake. Macaroni and cheese with crawfish and andouille sausage. Bloody Mary's. Daiquiris. Skinny Girl Cosmo. Nola beer. Abita beer. Makers Mark. Margaritas. Red Bull (alot of Red Bull). Miller Lite. Bud Lite. G2. Bottled water.

We saw a bunch of parades, caught pounds and pounds of beads, and ate some of the best food you can get anywhere. The best part of my 25th Mardi Gras was letting loose with Gary, Emily, Kyle, our nephew David, and our dearest New Orleans friends Toodie and Jerry and their kids, in one of my favorite places in the world, a city that means so much to me and is such a part of me. Laissez les bon temps roule.....until we meet again (hopefully at Jazz Fest!)

Did I mention the fried green tomatoes with fresh crab meat and remoulaude sauce?

Just sayin'.

Laurie

My Valentine

"Every kiss begins with K....."  We all heard that commercial during the Christmas holidays, and it's on repeat as Valentine's Day approaches.  I heard on the news Americans spend an average of $126.00 on cards, candy, gifts, and dinners for V-Day; this is second only to the Christmas season - a retailer's dream. 

I remember in elementary school decorating a brown paper bag in which classmates would place Valentine's.  This was in the days before it was mandated that a student had to give a Valentine to every classmate, and the anticipation of waiting to see who would give me a Valentine was as much fun as receiving the Valentine itself.  We would have a Valentine's Day party; the room mothers would bring decorated cupcakes and cookies, and and those little heart candies with messages.  We'd decorate a doily so we'd have a valentine to take home to Mom and Dad.  Valentine's Day was fun and simple.

In middle and high school there would often be a Sweethearts Dance scheduled around Valentine's Day.   Oh, the advance agony! Will he ask me?  Should I ask him?  Should we go as a group without dates?  What a relief, I have a date!  The night of the big dance we’d wait for that big moment when the DJ would spin everyone’s favorite slow dance song…..Zeppelin’s Stairway to Heaven. 

When Emily was young I helped her prepare Valentine's for her classmates and all the kids at daycare, as well as for her Dad, out of town grandparents and cousins.  I always gave her a special Valentine along with a small gift.  It was an opportunity for me to teach her the importance of expressing love and affection. 

Gary and I will celebrate Valentine's Day, as we do every year.  He told me a few weeks ago he made dinner reservations, and I have a small gift for him that I'm pretty sure will surprise him (which is very difficult to do!)  We express our feelings to each other in words and actions every day and don't need a V-Day dinner or gifts as an affirmation of our love or commitment to one another.  So why do we make a big deal out of February 14^th each year?   I’ve been giving that some thought the past few days.  There is no revelation that has come to me other than Gary and I not only love each other, but we have a lot of respect for our relationship and our marriage.  It is important to both of us that we take care of our relationship, that we nurture it, tend to it, and make it a priority always.  That means making time for special events like Valentine’s Day dinners.

And when we come home from the restaurant, I’ll ask him to put on some classic rock, and maybe we’ll slow dance to some Led Zep. 

Just sayin'.

Laurie 

Prayers of Thanksgiving

I remember the good night prayer from my childhood:  “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep.  Watch me through the dark of night, wake me when the day is bright.  God bless Mommy, Daddy, Kathy and Ricky; Gram and Grandpop and Granny; Aunt Jean, Uncle Fred and Gail; MomMom and PopPop; God bless everybody.  Make Laurie be a good girl.  Amen.”    Everyone once in a while, I silently recite the prayer as I lay in bed at night.  I guess I’m still hoping for help in the good girl department!

Daily prayers have always been a priority for me.  I pray to God for support and guidance for myself and others in need; I lift up prayers of praise for the goodness in my life and the goodness I see around me.  I pray to end the suffering of those who are ill or suffering the evils of the world.  And I pray to God with thanks for the many blessings in my life:  my husband, my children, my family, my friends, my home, my job, my belongings, and the many opportunities I have for pleasure.

Gary and I will spend part of the Thanksgiving holiday weekend in New Orleans with our children.  It’s been several months since the four of us have been together and we are really looking forward to being with them.  Dear friends will host the holiday meal.  The forecast calls for a sunny, 70 degree day.  I will have many prayers of thanks to lift on Thanksgiving night!

Later in the weekend we will fly to the East coast and spend time with Delaware family.  I haven’t seen my parents or sister in many, many months, and even though it will be a short visit, it will be special.  It’s amazing how much food, talk, and laughter we’ll manage to fit in during our 24 hours together.  Prayers of praise!

We’ll wrap up our East coast visit at the Philadelphia Eagles game vs. the New England Patriots.  I can’t even talk about the Eagles as the topic of their season is far too depressing, especially for a holiday weekend.  I am just praying for the season to be over!

Throughout the holiday weekend Gary’s Dad will be on my mind.  For a long time he has been living with lung cancer and we know he doesn’t have many days left in this life.  He is a strong, kind, generous, faithful man and I have been lifting prayers of thanks for knowing him most of my life, and for having him as a father-in-law.  Throughout his illness he has prayed for God’s will in his life.  I too, pray for God’s will in Dad's life, and that he endures no suffering.

Be safe this Thanksgiving holiday, whether you are traveling across the country or a short distance away from home.  If you are going out to a restaurant, to someone’s home, cooking the turkey, or picking it up from the grocery store, may your meal be bountiful and filling, to your stomach and your heart.  Don’t let tensions or old family feuds interfere with your day.  Enjoy the Macy’s Day parade, the football games, or play a board game with the kids.  Remember in prayer those who have to work on Thanksgiving –  hospital workers, police and fire personnel, and the retail workers who will greet the early bird Christmas shoppers.

To my family and friends near and far, Happy Thanksgiving.  God Bless everybody.

Just sayin’.

Laurie

In the Dog House - Please

Late last week I picked up my car from the service center at the car dealership.  The new car showroom, the retail area, the waiting area and the service center check-in and cashier are all in the same building.  Everything in the dealership building was shiny and new.  Of course there were the slick cars ready to be driven out of the show room!  Snacks and beverages were available for potential buyers and customers.  Various jackets and shirts and caps bearing the logo of the car brand were displayed and available for purchase.  Everyone who worked there was smiling and helpful!   One of the sales staff offered to let me test drive a new car – he could get me a good price on my existing car and put me in a brand new one for next to nothing!!  The service cashier reviewed with me all the work done on my car – I’m all set for the Minnesota winter!  There weren’t too many customers in the showroom at that time, but there were several customers milling about the service area, picking up and dropping off cars.  Two of the customers were four legged – a large black lab was sprawled out in the waiting area, and another small brown and white furry dog was running around underneath tables and chairs in the waiting area.

I bet some of you have a mental picture of those dogs and are thinking “aahh, how cute.”  Hmm.  Right away I will admit I am not a “dog person.”  Those who know me well know I’m more of a “crazy cat lady.”  I have a vague memory of a beagle named Holly who was a pet when I was a toddler, but she must have gone to live on a farm (and not my grandparents’ farm!)  Other than my short relationship with Holly, I’ve never had a dog for a pet, and have never wanted one.  When I was 7 or 8 years old, Duke the German shepherd who lived across the street viciously attacked me.  Fortunately it was cold weather season and I managed to escape his hold by slipping out of my winter coat.  But the broken skin on my arms and legs and the rabies shot is still a vivid memory, and the remaining scars are a regular reminder of that scary incident.  Sorry dog lovers, I’m not fan of the species.  So I am always more than a little appalled when others bring their dog – or two –to places of businesses.  Why do dog owners think it’s ok to do this?

  

I don’t dislike dogs in general.  Reggie next door is an old German shepherd (who looks very much like Duke).  I like Reggie.  He never barks at me, he follows the kids around the cul-de-sac when they are playing, and he often lies in the grass chewing his bone.  Occasionally he’ll wander over to our deck or garage, I’ll pet him for a few minutes and then he’ll go home.  There’s Brody up the street who is a beautiful golden retriever.  He barks a lot, but as soon as I say his name, he lets me pet him.  I think Brody would show the crooks where the silver is kept!  Tanner and Chloe are sibling bull dogs a few doors down.  They are a little too hyper for my liking, but are generally well behaved.  All that said, I don’t want to run into Reggie, Brody, Tanner or Chloe anywhere I conduct my consumer affairs.

Why do some feel it is socially acceptable have a dog tag-along no matter the destination?  Reality TV personalities carry their dogs around in expensive little bags – Paris Hilton, New York Housewife Jill Zarin and Bethanny Frankel of Skinny Girl fame, to name a few.  But those with dogs I’ve run into are not Reality TV stars!  My brother’s neighbor has as pet pig – Norman the Potbelly Pig.  Norman wouldn’t fit in a cute little bag, but he does have a leash.  Will we soon be running into Norman and others like him at the grocery store, dry cleaners, and pharmacy on Saturday mornings?

I would never bring Nola or Beignet, my extremely loveable and adorable cats, with me to the mall, drugstore, car dealership, or to a boutique in San Francisco, another place where I recently encountered a furry customer.  Common Sense (note:  capitalization intentional) tells me it’s likely there would be other customers at these places of business who wouldn’t appreciate my feline friends as much as I do.   No shoes, no shirts, no food, no drinks.  And please, no pets.

Just sayin’.

Laurie

Well Done. Go Thou in Peace.

This past weekend the United States Military Academy at West Point Class of 1986 celebrated its 25^th reunion.   During the reunion Gary and his classmates, particularly those in Company B3 (the Bandits) renewed friendships, reminisced about their cadet years and revived their class spirit, which is so unique among West Point graduates.

Gary’s time at West Point contributed to the formation of his deepest values.  Duty.  Honor.  Country.  A Cadet will not lie, cheat or steal or tolerate those who do (the Cadet Honor Code).  During reunion weekend I learned that a cadet is introduced to the Honor Code 16 minutes into the 47 month West Point experience.  The Class of 1986 Motto is Courage Never Quits.  The values Gary formed at West Point direct every decision he faces.  Those values served him during his military career.  He has brought those values to our marriage, has taught them to our children, and he leads with those values in the workplace.  If you know Gary, you know that West Point is at the core of the man he is. 

West Point is truly one of my favorite places.  The grounds of West Point are stunningly beautiful, located about 50 miles north of New York City, overlooking the Hudson River.  The post itself is rich with history.  I love to just enjoy the beauty of the grounds, the stately buildings, the statues and memorials, and the military officers and cadets.   I especially love all of the “Beat Navy” signs!  I’m so proud to be married to a West Point grad who had a very successful military career.  I’m also proud of the military accomplishments of his classmates, and our friends and family.  For me, each visit to West Point brings about a renewed sense of security that despite all of the troubles and challenges our world faces, the USA is indeed the greatest and safest country in the world because of our military. 

The demographics of the Class of 2015 (this year’s first year class) are very similar to Gary’s class, which entered the Academy in 1982.  The class of 2015 had 13,953 applications, 4344 congressional nominations, 2554 qualified candidates, and admitted 1249 cadets.  The majority of those admitted were high school Valedictorians, class presidents, team captains, and varsity letter winners, usually in more than one sport.  West Point retains 79-80% of each plebe (freshman) class.  This is astronomically high compared to other colleges.

A day in the life of a West Point cadet has also changed little since 1982.   Cadet Basic Training begins on R (Reception) Day in June.  The new cadets report to West Point and after a brief welcome are given 90 seconds (literally 90 seconds) to say good-bye to their family before they begin life as a new West Point cadet.  Within 8 hours the cadet chain of command will have in-processed approximately 1200 new cadets, who will have received vaccinations, gear, clothing, and haircuts.  They will have begun to learn to stand, march and behave like a cadet.  The day ends with the new cadets receiving the cadet oath. In just one day the cadets begin the transition from high school students to Army soldiers. 

The West Point school day begins at 0600, and breakfast and formation is at 07:05.  Taps are played at 2300, and lights out at 2400.  During the day there is a rigorous class schedule, and specific times for required intramural or intercollegiate sports, meals, and study hours.  Not a minute is wasted.    Specific uniforms are required for all activities, even recreation. 

West Point is the equivalent of a fully funded Ivy League education.  Each cadet receives not only a top-notch education, but also what is widely recognized as the best leadership training in the world.   Upon graduation, a cadet is commissioned as a Second Lieutenant in the U.S. Army.  And since 2001, every cadet who enters West Point does so knowing he or she will go to war upon graduation.

On R Day in 1982, the class of 1986 had 1271 male cadets and 149 female cadets, for a total of 1420 cadets.  The class of 1986 graduated 1006 cadets.  There are presently 125 men and 14 women from the class of 1986 still on active duty serving in the U.S. Army; two of those men and one woman are General Officers, many are Colonels.  About 20 active duty members were at the reunion; ten were not able to attend as they are presently deployed in Afghanistan.  36 members of the class of 1986 have children who are or who were West Point cadets and several class members have sons and daughters who are deployed.  During the reunion, I heard many mentions of children hoping to attend West Point.   The proud tradition of The Long Gray Line will continue.

23 members of the class of 1986 have passed away.  Some died from cancer and other illnesses. One died in a car accident while deployed overseas; another died with his family in a tragic ski accident while vacationing in Austria.  A few were killed while performing training missions. The first Army officer killed in Operation Desert Storm was a 1986 graduate.  The only West Point graduate killed in the World Trade Center on 9/11 was a 1986 graduate, and the highest ranking officer – a Colonel -  killed in Afghanistan to date was one of Gary’s classmates and close friend.  Gary and “Johnny Mac” played soccer at West Point; they attended flight school, were deployed overseas and played soccer in Germany together.  Johnny Mac’s death in Kabul hit Gary particularly hard.  The Class of 1986 paid tribute to their fallen classmates who served our Country faithfully during a moving and emotional reunion memorial service.   Duty.  Honor.  Country. 

Today there are 48,717 living graduates of the United States Military Academy.  All told, there have been 68,196 West Point grads.   During the reunion, the Class of 1986 presented the Superintendent of West Point with a Class Gift of $1,000,000, raised over a 5 year period.   In 2010, 18,256 individuals donated $35 million to the West Point Superintendent’s Fund.  The Superintendent decides the best use of these unrestricted gifts, dividing the funds among all the priorities of the Academy, including academics, clubs, sports, etc.  A current priority is the sustainment, renovation and modernization of the facilities (for example, urinals still exist in the ladies’ barracks!).   Unrestricted funds are used for enrichment of higher education.  An example is the Center for Combating Terrorism.  These enrichment activities are not funded by the U.S. Army but are essential for the education of our cadets and future military leaders.

The leadership qualities developed in a West Point cadet and matured in our military officers are evident in the endeavors many in the Class of 1986 have embarked upon following their military careers.  Among Gary’s classmates:  the CEO of 7-11 (you might have seen him on an episode of Undercover Boss); a Congressman; a couple of actors (the Sopranos); several West Point professors; the COO of the Philadelphia Inquirer newspaper; as well as ministers, doctors, bankers (not just Gary!), advertising executives (think Mad Men), and leaders of businesses such as Sherwin Williams, Nike, Frito-Lay, and many other well known corporations.

The United States Military Academy began the tradition of class rings, and I think every grad at the reunion was wearing his/hers.  Most West Point grads wear their rings regularly, if not all the time.  Many males wear their class ring on their left hand, in front of their wedding ring (Gary does this sometimes).

No West Point visit is complete without experiencing Army football, which has some of the greatest traditions in all of college football.  Unfortunately, the unusual October snowstorm forced us out of New York earlier than planned, and we weren’t at the Army game in the falling snow when they defeated Fordham 55-0!!!  However, we have been to many Army football games so I shall describe the experience as if we had been able to stay for the game during reunion weekend.

Every Army game day begins with the Cadet Review and March on The Plain, the parade field at the Academy.   The Plain is flat, in stark contrast to the rest of the Academy grounds, which are very hilly.   Just about all 4000 cadets march in full dress uniform for review by the USMA Superintendent (“The Supe”), his distinguished guests, and many spectators.  The march instills discipline and order with the Corps of Cadets and fosters esprit de corps and camaraderie.  The rifle team performs, the sword team performs, and the band plays. This parade of West Point cadets is one of the most impressive and moving military sights I’ve ever seen.     

The football teams plays in Michie (pronounced Mikey) Stadium, named for Dennis Michie who organized and coached the first West Point football team, in 1890.  The playing field is named for Earl “Red” Blaik, Army’s head coach from 1941-1958 who led the cadets to a national title in 1944 and 1945.  Cadet attendance at football games is mandatory and the Corps stands for the entire game.  The game ball is usually brought to the field by the Black Knights parachute team.   What a way to start the game!  Plebes do pushups for every point scored by the Black Knights.   The rabble rousers are also an important part of the Army football experience.  Dressed in unique West Point outfits, the rabble rousers hype the crowd and get the fans in the stands cheering.

Despite the spirit of Army football, the team doesn’t appear on any BCS lists.  Don’t judge Army football by its W-L record.   By the time they graduation, every single West Point cadet will have the knowledge, skill, strength and leadership to face any opponent in combat. As newly commissioned Second Lieutenants they will lead their soldiers out of harms way in remote places very far from home.

During the reunion class meeting the Superintendent’s office gave the class an update on what’s happening at the Academy.  In addition to the Honor Code, West Point now has a Respect Code, to educate and create awareness among the cadets about sexual harassment, assault prevention, and ethic, ethnic, cultural and diversity issues.   The Supe’s office didn’t spend much time talking about the Respect Code, as it is a fairly new initiative at West Point.  My own suspicion is that the Respect Code has something to do with the military’s recent (good) riddance of the “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” policy and allowing gays and lesbians to openly serve in the military.  I hope the Respect Code is successful.

I was disappointed by a few comments I overhead about one classmate who attended the reunion with her same sex partner; and another off-handed but insensitive comment about gay marriage.  I hope the Respect Code will help the next generation of cadets to all have attitudes of acceptance and inclusiveness.  There was also talk of 3 or 4 classmates who haven’t been seen or heard from in some time – women and men.  I wondered if the experiences of those individuals at West Point and/or in the military wasn’t as positive as it was for everyone else at the reunion.  Could these women perhaps have been sexually harassed, or worse, during their years at West Point?  The entering class of 1982 was only the 6^th class of women at the Academy.  I suspect there were senior officers at that time who were resentful of the female presence. Are there men from the Class of 1986 who have been absent from reunion gatherings because they are resentful of having to keep their true selves secret for so many years?

Overall, the reunion weekend was a huge success and a fabulous time.  Despite 25 years, distance, deployments and distinguished careers as General, Colonels and business leaders, Gary and the Bandits fell right back into step.  They still call each other names like Cecil, and The Narrator, Bucket Head, Wizzy, and Mooky.  And they talked and laughed about their “Beast Barrack” experiences, and who could and couldn’t pass the SAMI inspections (Saturday A.M. Inspection – a white glove room inspection).

There is always one story that comes up when Gary is with his West Point buddies. A form of punishments for cadets who commit an infraction is “walking the area.”  Cadets are “awarded” walking tours as punishment for infractions.  Being late to class or not passing a room inspection might result in a 5 hour walking tour, while more severe misconduct can result in upwards of 60-80 hours.  The tours are “walked off” by wearing the dress uniform and walking back and forth in a designated area.  Cadets who walk more than 100 hours during their time at West Point are affectionately known as Century Men.   Gary is a DOUBLE Century Man – a legend at West Point.    He never had to walk the area for an infraction such as not passing a room inspection, or his uniform not being appropriate.   He had just three infractions, but they were big ones, (code: beer).   Today’s cadets ractually look at Gary in awe when they find out he’s a “Double Century Man!”

As I mentioned, the unusual October snow forced us out of New York earlier than we had planned.  But it was a fabulous 25^th reunion weekend, and we’ll look forward to seeing all of our West Point friends again soon.

Until then, well done.  Go thou in peace.

Just sayin’.

Laurie