Where Are You From?

Where are you from?  I've been asked this question practically my whole life. "You're not from around here, are you?"  "I recognize your accent, but I can't quite place it."  "What brought you here?"  My responses have changed many times over the past 37 years.  Recently I've begun to wonder - where AM I from?

I spent my formative years in a small town in South Jersey (if you've lived there you understand the South distinction) and my pre-teen and teen years in Delaware.  New Orleans was home during my 20's and most of my 30's, and the last 10 years or so I've lived in Connecticut and more recently in Minnesota.  Hence the reason for the number of different answers to the same questions all these years.

I lived in New Jersey until I was 10, and have vivid memories of those years.  I clearly remember my sister as a toddler and when my brother was born.  I used to ride my bike to my grandparent's house and I picked and ate green beans right out of the farm ground of my other grandparents.  My aunt was the drive thru teller at the bank  and another aunt was the children's choir director at the United Methodist Church, where everyone I knew worshipped.  Every Easter Sunday my Dad would make egg salad sandwiches from the eggs we had colored the night before.  My great grandmother spent the night at our house each Christmas Eve.  Summer Sundays meant my parents and their friends - who were all called "aunt" and "uncle" - and all the kids would gather at the lake for a giant picnic.  I remember learning to ride my two wheeler on a gravel driveway with the boys across the street.  Brownies and Girl Scouts, the volunteer firemen's carnival, the five and dime where I could buy candy for a penny (literally), the tree in our backyard that I used to climb.  I've only been back to New Jersey a few times in all these years, but Facebook friends and posts have recently brought this small town alive to me again.  This is where I'm from.

When I was 10 years old we moved to Delaware,  into a brand new home in a new housing development with other young families.  We had a "rec" room, a swimming pool, and I rode a bus to school for the first time ever.  Life was idyllic.   Divorce shattered all of that, but I adjusted.  My teen years were fairly normal, although looking back I wish I had taken better advantage of the familial, friendship and educational opportunities that were all around me.  My first marriage took me away from Delaware when I was barely an adult myself.  Since then, I've traveled to Delaware whenever possible to visit parents and siblings, relatives, life long friends, nieces, nephews, and many of my in-laws.   I always look forward to our traditional family get-togethers, shopping with my sister and mom at the mall or the outlets, my brother's quick wit, the familiarity of my Dad's horseshoes and habits, and taking the kids to the beach and the boardwalk.  For many years my sister and brother-in-law have made their large, comfortable home mine and my husband's East Coast hub.  My favorites are always in the kitchen pantry (Herrs and Tastycakes!), and he's been a member of the neighborhood golf club.   This is where I'm from.

Moving to New Orleans was very unexpected for me.  But the city became an important part of my life and is part of the fabric of my being..  I have cherished friends and I built my law firm career there.  My daughter was born and raised in New Orleans, and it's where she attends college.  I visit New Orleans often and when I do I feel happy and full of pride.  I lived in New Orleans longer than I've lived anywhere else and my happiness and pride stem from the life I achieved for my daughter and myself while we lived there.  I had a wide circle of personal and professional friends, I was part of a church community, I was active in volunteerism, my daughter attended a great neighborhood school, and I owned my own home. Today I'm proud to watch my daughter become an adult in the city where I became one too.    This is where I'm from.

A second chance at marriage (another story for another blog post) brought about a move to Connecticut. As much as I loved New Orleans, I never once hesitated to make this move.  Our Connecticut town was Norman Rockwell perfect.  It was a beach town, our daughter could safely walk to school and freely roam the streets, I had a perfect law firm job 1 1/2 miles from our house,  and my husband commuted by train to his Manhattan job.  We had wonderful neighbors and friends and hosted many  parties at our beautiful, remodeled Dutch Colonial, especially in the summer by our pool.  The town held summer concerts on the Town Green and an annual Memorial Day parade, and our church congregation dated back to pre-revolutionary war days.  From spring to fall we would eat at one of the many sidewalk cafes.  We frequently went to New York City, drove to Boston to sightsee, or to West Point on football Saturdays.   We were close enough to our Delaware family that we had visitors from time to time, and we were able to make the drive to see them for holidays, kids birthdays, and other family events.  My husband and I built a life in Connecticut that felt good and right for us and our kids.  This is where I'm from.

As comfortable and happy as we were in Connecticut, career opportunities brought about a move to Minnesota.   This one didn't come as easy for me as the others.  In fact, I resisted the move.   My husband went to Minnesota a full 1 1/2 years before I did as our daughter was in the middle of her junior year of high school, and we made a family decision to let her graduate in Connecticut.  He commuted home to Connecticut every other weekend.   After 1 1/2 years, however, she was off to college and it was it time for me to join him in Minnesota.  After the moving truck drove away, after I said goodbye to my friends, I walked through the beautiful, remodeled Dutch Colonial that now belonged to someone else and broke down.  I didn't have it in me to start over in a new city yet again.

I've lived in Minnesota for four years now.  I've survived 4 winters!  I have valuable friendships.   I've mastered the downtown skyway system, I have doctors, a hair stylist, a manicurist, a drycleaner, and a seamstress.  We have our favorite restaurants, and occasionally we even cheer for the hometown team (that's saying a lot, if you know of our Philadelphia team affiliations).  We've even been "up North" (once!).  Our kids have bedrooms in our house, can find their way around the Twin Cities and have a few friends here.  Our families and some friends have come to visit, and have commented on how beautiful and clean it is in Minnesota.  I've adjusted to the slow and steady pace of the Midwest. 

Today when we travel to visit our family and friends the questions we seem to be asked most often are  "How long will you live there?"  "Do you think you'll move again?"  If history is any indication, Minnesota isn't my last stop, but I will try not to think about where I'll land next.  Instead,  I will continue to enjoy my visits to that small town in New Jersey, and to Delaware, New Orleans and Connecticut.    I will remember to give thanks in my prayers for the life experiences I've had in each of the wonderful places I have lived, and to work harder to stay in touch with the many family and friends who have touched my life, because it is those experiences and those people which have made me the woman I am today.  I will enjoy Minnesota. This is where I'm from.

Just sayin'.

My First Post

Is there anything I can share that anyone will want to read?  I am married to a fabulous man I've known all my life (that story is for another post).  We have two remarkable children, I'm sure I'll write about them sometime too. We have two cats, and  friends and family all over the country.   I'm in year 26 of a career in law firm administration.   I've watched All My Children since I was about 5 and am sad it's ending this September.  And I've watched GH since I was about 10 and am so glad it's not ending (shout out to Kat)!  But I'm more than the sum of my soaps!  I've been blessed with many life experiences, some have been wonderful, others have been, well...."learning opportunities."  I have many thoughts and ideas and observations.  But can I turn all of this -- all of ME and my life -  into into words that you will find interesting, humorous or inspirational?  Since third grade I've been a writer-wanna be (not sure I've ever told anyone that truth).  Could there be a Carrie Bradshaw, Dave Barry, Maureen Dowd, or Mitch Albom buried inside of me, waiting to exhale?  Just sayin'.